Thursday 26 September 2013

Hellllooooo Bangkok. Here we are!!!



Touch down Bangkok!!
Its wet, hot and steamy and fifty shades of grey.............in the sky ;) 

But, How amazingly beautiful this city is. And, i should mention an absolutely beautiful apartment too. 

The apartment we are in is fairly cheap. ( my stands cheap) Much, MUCH cheaper than India. 

When I was booking for Bangkok, I thought, I'm going to princess this trip up, and stay at one of the super flash gorgeous hotels they have here, but then after speaking with people from  surrogacy Australia, it made Sense to find an apartment that we like so that when we come for baby pickup and have to spend 3-4 weeks here we are comfortable with what's in the area. So my list of what I wanted began. Serviced apartment ( cleaning of rooms) laundry service and to do your own if need be, breakfast and pool.  Modern, clean and close to skytrain. My hubby laughed at me and said my list was too long. Hu! Well I found it, Bliston Suwan Park. 
1 bedroom 2 bathrooms, office, kitchen + lounge room, 70m2  with all that I have mentioned and a really good car service if needed, especially when we have baby.
Www.blistonresidence.com 

Today is our first full day in beautiful Bangkok and hubby and are are totally mentally and physically  exhausted  so we decided to take a little walk around the hood see what we have at our feet and I must say. I LOVE EVERYTHING!!! Street food vendors so kind as to offer us a taste before we buy. [ we didn't buy, just incase we get sick, especially just before V has to do his thing :) ] people are friendly, shopping malls at you feet, and I found my new favourite store Dean and Deluca. Carmel macchiato is on the list everyday!! 
So today we are just chilln by the pool, and re energising

Saturday is our fist appointment at All Ivf. I've asked to meet both our donor and surrogate. In all honestly I have never been sure if I wanted to do so. And only made the decision once we landed. I had 10hrs of flying time to think about it. And weigh up all my pros and cons and decided I don't want to live with regrets. This may be my one chance to meet our beautiful donor that we choose and I have no idea what I'm going to say to her. I mean really what do you say to a woman who can give you your dreams????? but, I know that one day if my child asks me about her I want to be able to answer something about the woman that help give them life. 

Wednesday 18 September 2013

My struggle is no greater or less than anyone else's.







When i started this blog, i knew that expressing words in a written form would help me, i also knew it was a document for my baby, to know how much they were wanted. And that i would travel the world on foot if i had to, to have them. I knew that somehow at least one of my experiences would help someone.
What i didn't know was that a year later, id still be on this path, on a road that has lead me in a completely different direction. I didn't know how much strength i have, although in saying that, after the last few weeks i have felt an emotional exhaustion and often hard to catch my breath.
When my child is old enough to read this, i want them to know that, every step taken and every challenge given, has made me and my world a better place.( and will be even more better when they are in it ) But im the newer stronger version of what i used to be. The simple fact is, a challenge is a lesson, a lesson is knowledge and knowledge is Power. And even if the challenge has left me feeling broken, in that there was a lesson, where i know i will also gain power.
Sharing is a power. And  on this journey, you need to share. You share the good, the bad, and the ugly. This is what makes everyone that i have come across so incredibly  special, So much diversity in one group with the only thing that links us is the incredible desire for a little person in our lives.

A few days ago i was on the phone with a very dear friend, who it saddens me to say is also trying  for a baby.
When i spoke with her, i noticed a sadness in her voice. When i asked her what was wrong, she told me, but felt guilty in doing so because of the struggle that we have had. And she in her words thinks hers is less compared to mine. Not only did that statement shake me, it sadden me.

My struggles are not greater or less than anyone else's. They are just mine.
If I've walked a path where i know there are thorns on the road, i will draw you a map of where to step.
The one thing i can honestly say is not matter where i am, or whatever emotional  state I'm in my heart and ears are always open to people who need them. I've never turned away anyone, from all those who email me and asked for information to especially a friend. The power of one word can make a difference.
 My god, if i can spare anyone of my friends from any emotional and financial heart ache i will.

So this to my friends in blogger land is for all you who may need that little help and don't know where to start looking.Not only for a direction in Surrogacy and donor, but for you mental and physical well being. Cause damn this is not just any ordinary journey.

True fact. When we choose a clinic or doctor, whether it be India or Thailand, our choices are made by what others have experienced,and by the reputation of a clinic and doctor. I am so tired of researching so i surrendered to someone who can help.

Megan Sainsburry started out being my Connection with a clinic in India. She  has since left and now has her own business, called Surrogacy Conceptions. In my opinion, she is truly kind hearted ethical & very knowledgeable Take note. Because if you need an agent, this woman is on the ball.
Not only with stats and data, but she will help take out some of the sting on this path that can drain you, and your relationship (people going through this......you know what i mean)
surrogacyconceptions@gmail.com

I'm a believer in Holistic Health. And kinesiology  is and has played a big part in my life for many years. Honestly what I get from each session has kept me balanced and sociable enough to keep me on the path of a baby and maintain my business.
I won't go into too much detail as to what is done in each session, as everyone will experience something completely different, purely because we each are completely different. 
However, I will tell you this, energy balance is the centre point of kinesiology, and dealing with one or more stress factors and or clearing a negative emotion [ i've had lots of these in the past let me tell you ] To pain relief, this method of improving mental & physical being has been one of my life lines.

Suzanne Lennard ~ www.luminouslife.com.au
Sussane Wailling ~ www.susanwallingkinesiology.com.au

These 2 women have help keep me in the boxing ring, with a smile most of the time :)

Sunday 1 September 2013

Snap, Crackle & Pop


 Not just a chocolate cereal......


Snap.
Monday last week looked to be a normal day, lunch with a dear Friend, shop running like a well oiled machine, hitting it hard at the gym, only the call from VFS saying that my hubby needed a letter from Greek embassy saying that they acknowledge Surrogacy kind of sent me into a spin. Obviously, we are not applying for Greek citizenship, just Australian, and they have that letter from the Australian High commission. And the law states that ONLY ONE parent need be of Australian citizen for baby to enter the country by genetic decent.
Now, those who have applied for Surrogacy Visa know that on the application it dose not ask if you are doing a donor transfer. All it states is whether you are undergoing surrogacy. So there was no mention of us going down the donor path, so why when we as a couple my husband was not given a Med Visa.??

Crackle.
Over the next 3 days the amount of time i spent on hold, the amount of money i spent in calling VFS (who are in my opinion are brainless) and the amount of people i said these words to.....
The law states that ONLY ONE parent need be of Australian citizen for baby to enter the country by genetic decent. I truly lost count of.
I called Meg, from Surrogacy Conceptions,who was my CM in India. Cause sometimes, its better to have someone act on you behalf, clearly not everything is a smooth ride. She was told i should prepare a Statutory Declaration, stating that we are applying as a couple, V is my spouse of 8yrs, and the letter from Greece is not necessary as we will NOT be applying for baby visa through Greece, and the Australian High commission letter is attached to application.  So that afternoon that's what i did.

PoP. 
after ALOT [ and that's putting it mildly ] of back and forth between Melbourne, Sydney consulate, Adelaide Sydney VFS back to Melbourne [where they had no record of his application, but i just spoke with them the day before about it...ugh] and finally Sydney, and, not to mention a GREAT deal of screaming and swearing. We were denied my hubby's med visa. Now we could very well ship over his "stuff"  and all would be the same.  BUT as I've said before, Listening to the universe. All we want is a family. IT SHOULDN'T BE SO HARD. So i simplified it. Thursday afternoon we were told no from VfS. By Friday, i was with our NEW clinic in Thailand ALL IVF.  YEP......Thailand baby!!!!
Thanks to Meg from surrogacy Conceptions, i now have a donor, surrogate and a date of travel, we will be ready to rock n roll by the end of September.

Do i have the time, energy, or care factor to fight a government who's only consistent path in all this time is a proven  path of inconsistencies. My family dreams are not to be determined by a bunch of bureaucratic numbnuts. nor should i put off my dream to fight a battle depending on a whether the case officer that picked up my documents is in a good mood. India is not the only country that can offer us a family, that we so dearly desire.

We Greeks have alot of Saints in our religion. One of My favourite Saints is Fanouri. You pray to him if you've lost or trying to find something. A friend an i used to say his name and just "put it out there" every time we looked for a parking space. and would you know it would work almost every time. She and i would always be amused by that.
My mum, rang me on Wednesday to come pick up food [ Greek mums :) ] and she had baked a cake. She said this is for you, to help you find your way. When you eat it say this prayer and Thank Saint Fanouri....Truth, i didn't think too much of it. Then she in her high pitch voice said. DO IT!
The following day, after all the screaming with VFS, that feeling of this doesn't feel right anymore hit me, and i can say that honestly, the energy pulling me toward Thailand was very comfortable.

 I'm blessed that my family care and are supportive. Telling them that India is a no go,was easy. The only question i got was my brother asked me why we didn't choose Thailand from the beginning. 
When you make a decision with all the information given to you, you go with what suits you best. The key factor for us, was that In India is our baby would be born Stateless and with our names on the birth certificate. Thailand, the baby is born with our surrogates name on the birth certificate. 
All we have to do now is apply for a parental order, and have our names as our child's legal parents.

A beautiful dear friend taught me the word "compromise". 
if this is what it takes, then is just another thing im happy to "let go" of.