Things don't always go with the plan that you've set in you mind. But the one thing I've realised is that the universe will provide exactly what you need, and exactly when you need it. I truly believe that. All you have to do is learn to read the signs.
After a few weeks of reading stats, talking to people, research and once again feeling like i live on a different planet to people around me, we have chosen our clinic. And this time we'll be travelling to Mumbai, as that's where Dr Kadam from Corion is.
I haven't done much research on Mumbai at the moment,......... im just gunna take a stab in the dark and say that, that update will be in the following blog post. ;)
But......Corion has a cool modern feel to it, it provides surrogate care and accommodation which was very important to me. And the hospital that baby is born in has amazing care, and the newest equipment for all baby needs if needs are necessary.
How do i know this....its all part of the research i did.
Talk to people that have been, seen, and are going through baby pick up, and even those who have had some baby complication.
I skyped with Dr Kadam a few weeks ago and she won me over. You see i look for a connection with my Doctors simply because if i pick up on the fact they are Media hungry, or looking at you as a Lab rat or just a Dollar sign....well...... I don't intend to put my self through that again. It's called Lesson Learnt!
There are a lot of Options in India not just one or two clinic's like here in my home town.
And lets no forget that ive been on this path for nearly a year now, been and seen India, know how to, what not to and what to ask, and look for. But most importantly i now know lots of people who have been and are in the process of surrogacy and if i miss anything.......they got my back!
When i sent the email to Dr Kadam, that we were changing directions and that our new path is in the land of donor egg. Her reply was warm and very sincere, saying...... that must have been a difficult decision but understands what a sacrifice like that means so that we can finally have our family.
The following day after i sent the email to Dr Kadam, the Dr in charge of the donor program emailed me
with a list of profile of 15 women.
what these profile consisted of was a picture of the woman, her age, height,weight, marital status, blood type, how many times pregnant, how many kids she has, religion, skin colour, and lots of medical blood codes....that all stated nil. and whether they are educated.
I thought that education was a main point for me, but as it turned out it wasn't.....basically because firstly, i didn't go to university, and i don't consider myself any less that a doctor or lawyer. Secondly, they could be the bright person there is, but because of financial or religious or really just life, they were not able to continue with further education, so No, that is not a factor in choosing our egg donor.
Overall the information that has been provided by Corion is enough to help you choose. However, being the Nit picking person that i am......i needed more.
I thought that education was a main point for me, but as it turned out it wasn't.....basically because firstly, i didn't go to university, and i don't consider myself any less that a doctor or lawyer. Secondly, they could be the bright person there is, but because of financial or religious or really just life, they were not able to continue with further education, so No, that is not a factor in choosing our egg donor.
Overall the information that has been provided by Corion is enough to help you choose. However, being the Nit picking person that i am......i needed more.
The few things they didn't state were big questions for me.
1...have they done this before?
2...if they had, then had it developed into a successful pregnancy?
3....do they smoke?
4...if they are a continuous donor, how long do they have to wait before they go through another cycle?
For me, its important that they have their own children, and that they have done and been a proven successful donor, and that they do not smoke.
When i received the profiles i sat down with V and we looked over them. Then i asked him to help me pick. He took a deep breathe and said no. He'd like me to pick, but if i couldn't and found it difficult then yes, then he'll help.
Honestly, at first i was shocked he said no........but then i realised why he was a little uncomfortable. It was about me. How do you pick a woman to have your baby? and that's why he felt like he couldn't choose.
So..........how do I pick a woman to have my husbands baby??
[ you should know that im writing this sentence and smiling ] I know very well that the baby born is and will always be MY child...no doubt. It's that simple.... the end.
I called on a beautiful friend...SD. knowing completely she would understand..... i had a top 2, we looked at all factors, we were blown away by these women's beauty, and she made me laugh through out the whole process, which i thought was going to be tough, but.....adding a little humour to it i eventually decided, and showed my hubby.
I sent the email, and..........donor number 1 wasn't available the month that we wanted to travel. Hence the universe. My old ways would have been to take control, and do anything to make it happen, but.....the new me is happy to say, that donor number 2, and 3, are still available and a decision will be made soon.
You see im in a good place in my life. I wouldn't change any part of my life with anything or anyone. The journey i've been given is for a reason, im still a little unclear as to what, but, it is what it is, and im happy with who i am. who i've become and who i've met and continue to meet.
The reality is, It's Life.........you never know what each day will bring....but....i for one can say its not boring.
And im in love with the dream of what could, can and will be.
When i received the profiles i sat down with V and we looked over them. Then i asked him to help me pick. He took a deep breathe and said no. He'd like me to pick, but if i couldn't and found it difficult then yes, then he'll help.
Honestly, at first i was shocked he said no........but then i realised why he was a little uncomfortable. It was about me. How do you pick a woman to have your baby? and that's why he felt like he couldn't choose.
So..........how do I pick a woman to have my husbands baby??
[ you should know that im writing this sentence and smiling ] I know very well that the baby born is and will always be MY child...no doubt. It's that simple.... the end.
I called on a beautiful friend...SD. knowing completely she would understand..... i had a top 2, we looked at all factors, we were blown away by these women's beauty, and she made me laugh through out the whole process, which i thought was going to be tough, but.....adding a little humour to it i eventually decided, and showed my hubby.
I sent the email, and..........donor number 1 wasn't available the month that we wanted to travel. Hence the universe. My old ways would have been to take control, and do anything to make it happen, but.....the new me is happy to say, that donor number 2, and 3, are still available and a decision will be made soon.
You see im in a good place in my life. I wouldn't change any part of my life with anything or anyone. The journey i've been given is for a reason, im still a little unclear as to what, but, it is what it is, and im happy with who i am. who i've become and who i've met and continue to meet.
The reality is, It's Life.........you never know what each day will bring....but....i for one can say its not boring.
And im in love with the dream of what could, can and will be.
