My opinion ~ India V's Thailand

Exactly what the title says. This is purely my experiance and MY OPINION  based on what I've experienced.

I'm one of the few [of course I am :) ] in a position as an IP where I have experienced the surrogacy journey in both countries. 
Again no need for anyone to get all huffed about what I'm going to write. Each and every IP will experiance something different, however I'm sure that some IPs would share some similarities in each country.
I'm from Australia so this is what was need for me.
What you need to get started.
Once you've chosen you Doctor and clinc.

INDIA
Medical visa which requires  paperwork to be sent to VFS
- must have one IP of Australian citizen
- must be married for 2yrs
- provide marriage certificate
- must be a heterosexual couple
- choose your clinc I went directly to the clinics. No agent. [ but lucky Meg was working at the clinic       I choose ]
- have your "tests"  sent to clinics.
- fresh transfer is the only way to have your biological child, as no shipment of frozen embryos are allowed anymore.
- choose a time frame that suits you and clinic for ET
 - surrogate profiles are sent out. You can pick a surrogate or you can leave it up to doctor to choose.
- Surrogacy visa are required  paperwork application to VFS- provide a Statutory declaration stating you and your husband/wife will
   Lawfully and legally provide for your child born through surrogacy. This must be signed by a JP
- A signed contract of your surrogacy contract. [ original, but a copy my be acceptable. ]
- photocopies of passport.
- $240.00 Aust Dollars for  Surrogacy visas
- once you have visa check if it's valid for 3 months or 12. VFS have been inconsistent in this.
- Fill out FRRO forms and have lots of passport photos for these forms. [ only done once your are in india ]

There are a lot of inconsistencies here too.You can refer to a past blog i wrote "Welcome to the Hunger Games, AKA FRRO

Fresh cycle, Doctor monitoring drugs, and scans. Wonderful. Much better than here in Australia.
  The updates of how your surrogate is medically including scans leading up to ET, are none. You have the choice of wether you meet your surrogate. But you can't meet your Donor.
Egg collection, doctor will come and speak with you and tell you how many were collected and will give you a date for ET. Recovery thankfully is not rushed Dr will advise day 3 or day 5. I've spoken with 2 Doctors in India both say a day 3 transfer is best.

THAILAND. [ donor path ]

- Must have one IP of Australian citizen
- choose your clinic
-  choose whether you go directly through the clinic or use an agent.
   [ I've used Megan Sainsbury ]
- If you have frozen embryos then choose a shipping company.
- Choosing a surrogate  depends on if you go through an agent or clinic. But a surrogate is chosen for  You. 
  Their prep and medical state is determined by the doctor.
- choose your donor [ Caucasian or Thai ]
- dates of cycle are sent
- book your tickets and accommodation.

Going through the process in both countries was very different, Again different clinics may do things differently.

We used a donor, so i don't know what the bed side manner of the doctor was like, but he later came out and spoke with us to tell us how many eggs were collected. And he believes in a day 5 transfer. ( as do i)
If your using a donor, you have a choice to meet with her if you like.
The updates of surrogate are wonderful, ultrasound scans are emailed with a scan of the uteral lining explaining  thickness in detail. Every scan is emailed to you. Now the best part is images of your embryos are sent to you.
It's important to feel this connection we'll to me anyway. Nice to feel like your part of the process somehow.

In India when your baby is born your names as biological parents are on the Birth Certificate. 
This is a big drawing card for India and is what won us over in the beginning. But honestly, now for me, it's simply a piece of paper that sits in a filing cabinet.
In India At this stage applying for exit visa and waiting time is appox 14 to 20 days. Before you can leave.
In Thailand the name of the surrogate mother is on the birth certificate, [which is also the protocol for surrogacy in Australia ]
What this means is that once you apply for your baby's exit visa waiting time is approximately 4 weeks to return to Australia  soon after You can apply for a Parental Order.
For those who don't know, this is a court order that transfers parentage from the surrogate  to the intended parent/s. This means the intended parents become the legal parents.

Based on my experiences, India, was a pleasant surprise. Doctors, nurses were great. Hospital and clinics were wonderful. However for me Thailand wins.  For me is a better place nice environment ( especially since you need to be away for anywhere up to   2, 3, 5 weeks when you have baby pick up. The hospital is gorgeous. The clinic is like being in a friends living room. The doctors and nursing staff have a wonderful energy about them.
There's more to do in Thailand. It's  super clean,  modern, the people have a beautiful peace and respect about them and it's cheaper in terms of accommodation, food, and shopping. 

I'm ending this by reminding you this is my option. I have no doubt that others who have been to both countries for the exact same reasons I have, have experienced something different.
And I'm not saying that I did not have a good experience in India ( regardless of my negative results) I'm simply saying I preferred my experience in Thailand more.

Fact is you want a baby. You will go to the end of the earth to have that. Where that point on the earth is, is your choice. 

deep breaths.

Hope.
Wikipedia's definition ~
'Hope is the state which promotes the desire of positive outcomes related to events and circumstances in one's life or in the world at large. Despair is often regarded as the opposite of hope. Hope is the "feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best" or the act of "look[ing] forward to something with desire and reasonable confidence" or "feel[ing] that something desired may happen".Other definitions are "to cherish a desire with anticipation";

I almost lost it. Hope that is. I almost lost it. I found myself saying for the first time I'm tired of this emotional pain. Im embarrassed and exhausted  of failing so often. I'm drained mentally. I miss having a life, and I miss shopping. Afters days of being in a daze from our negative result. I realised that I'm still breathing, I'm functioning around people, I'm able to go to work. I'm able to be around certain people  and pull off a very convincing act that I'm ok. I'm breathing. It's long deep breaths. But I'm breathing. What dose that tell me. That I'm bloody strong. 
I know I'm not the most positive or hopeful person at the moment. And I'm choosing the people I surround myself with very carefully. It's not because friends don't care. But, it's because I'm over it. I'm Sick of herding the same crap coming out of my mouth and sick of hearing the same response from people. 'Have hope', 'Don't give up'. By all means I love every single one of these people who have said that to me. But I'm just numb. And their words are just not having the same affect as they use to.

After weeks off just keeping to myself and staying off and away from anything baby and surrogacy and only completely focusing on my business( which I have mentally neglected for well over a year). After finding out our sixth attempt had failed 4 weeks ago, I wanted to just switch off and distance myself from everything. No baby news, no emails, no questions, no answers, positives or negatives. However, As it just happens (thanks universe) in the last 3 weeks 4 of my friends have announced they are pregnant, and a family member just had a baby too. As happy as I a for them, and believe me I am. The sadness I felt and have been suppressing for weeks kicked in. And inevitable i finally snapped. And the obvious sadness is visible in my eyes now, so trying to avoid eye contact with people. 
Have I mentioned that all I want is a baby?!, but I feel like I'm planning international espionage. Looking at bank balance, Saving, Planning, talking Visas. And Citizenship, sacrificing, researching, more research, and more sacrificing. 
So, With the greatest of smiles i congratulated all these people. 
as its a beautiful celebration of a new life and family that so many people take for granted.

My amazing hubby and i had a little picnic last weekend our topic conversations are mainly about backup plans. Somewhere in between the chicken and my new low fat salted Carmel brownies, our steps for "what if's" evolved.
Let me tell you, its a wonderful feeling to know that the person who you want a family with, thinks, feels, breaths the same ideas as you. There is no compromise in reference to our family our ideas are exactly the same.....cause everything else we are like chalk and cheese...hehehe,  but we always find a happy medium. 
I think that's how we survive this journey, our selflessness for each other the desire to want the other to be happy. 
We each put each other first. That's what makes this work. 
I'm not going to lie.... There have been moments... Ok LOTs of moments where our relationship had more than a few cracks. But we take it back to basics and remember, we love and respect each other. 
So I may have more than one drink at night to get by.
But. I get by.

You know that felling of going to the gym, working out so hard that for the next few days breathing is and even the action of squatting to sit on the loo is painful. But you know that it's the only way that results will happen.
It's that exact feeling.
I clearly can't give up hoping. I'm to excited about the idea of a baby to give up.