It's been a very long time since I've updated my blog but so much has unfolded that word failed me. Strange thing that. One day you have so much to say and the next, fear takes over and you are verbally paralyzed.
I've now found my voice again and this is how the past few months have unfolded.



Have you ever felt like your swimming with your hands tied behind your back. You screaming for help, but only get an answer that makes you feel no one has heard you.

After our last miscarriage, I was determined to be assertive and get all the bloody answers I needed! The answer of "this is nature" is not an answe when dealing trying to make a baby using every scientific prosess available. And on top of that why the f&ck are we not PGD testing!!!!!!!

Dr P suggested my hubby do another blood and sperm test to see if he's a carrier of  any "syndrome".
This test takes a month to get the results.
So fine, we wait Another month.
But do you really think that I'm the type of person to just sit around and wait.......?
So in that month, I didn't request or ask what our next move was, I demanded.
I booked our tickets to Bangkok, I told the clinic they were to pick 2 new surrogates. I also told them that the embryos from our perivous donor were to remain frozen & in storage and were are going to select a new donor.
Once again money and price changed as new donor meant starting again., but I didn't care.
This time everything was to be new.!
My new agent Kim from complete surrogacy solutions, an American woman with a heart of gold.
My new surrogates my new donor and most of all my new heart felt feeling of knowing I have ridded all crap from my life. So here we go.......New bloody everything.

May had passed and we were at the begining of June. Man how time flys.
The results came back for my husband and all was good. No detection of anything.
Kim had emailed me a few donors, however this time all that I wanted was someone who has been a proven donor before. Meaning that her eggs have been a successful pregnancy.

We choose our donor, we booked our flights to coincide with when  Kim would also be in bangkok
I spoke with Dr P and asked to have 2 surrogates ready the time we were thete and that this cycle was not to be a frozen but a fresh transfer And this is what was going to happen cause I'm going to be in your office every day till we get all this!!

I just don't understand how  picking 2 women can takes so long!
I've seen A LOT of women in the clinc before, so I asked Nid, (Dr P right hand)  and she said we scan10 women a day, but not everyone meets the criteria of what is needed for a surrogate, out of the 10 a day we may only have 7-10 women a week who are successful.
Right........Ok, so now I get it. But.......I want 2 of the 7-10 women NOW!!!!!
( demanding cow I am )

I also must say how much I love Dr P, Nid, Nancy and Nate. This team of people have heard me (and others) plead, cry & demand and I have to say the level of care given by all of them has always been above any standard I have been shown here in Adelaide by the pathetic team  of IVF medical professionals at Repromed.

When Walking into the clinic, You immediately feel the love & care, the respect that each person has for eachother, the buzz of excitement from IPs when they see there little bubs being protected by a woman they don't know. And the surrogate knowing that this journey will be successful.