Saturday 1 June 2013

Gratefulness. if you seek, you will find.





Certain events that are out of our control bring people together. 
And I for one am grateful for certain people.
While I was writing this post  I received the most amazing wonderful message from
Someone I have never met in person, who i speak with often, who I've known for only 2 months,
 but feel like I've known them all my life. The happiness from their news has prompted the
 redirection this post.

Being grateful is hard when you have had so many negatives keep reoccurring. My analogy for the IVF & surrogacy free people is....
 Imagine yourself  in a relationship and your partner cheats on you. (only using "cheats," cause its a really shitty thing to do) You choose to end it. Your devastated. You somehow find the strength & courage to move on. Then you find someone else and start another relationship, and then they cheat on you, so you end the relationship. And all those feeling come rushing back. Then you get a chance to be in another relationship and they to cheat. And again you go in and out of these relationships but with each time you do, you do so with caution, and slowly you build a wall, and slowly you get defencive and slowly you become negative.
This is the same as going through any type of fertility treatment the more time you get that email that reads" I'm sorry your pregnancy test is a negative" you actually become more and more negative.
What you need to realise is that the negativity that someone is so radiantly beaming is unfortunately what they are going through. Not who they are. It just takes over their being for a while. Until one day their strength turns into Gratitude and Gratefulness, because someone may have said the magic word.

You see i have some amazing people in my life, I have a husband who will try to protect me from every painful experience and some friends & some family who have been there for me. who love me and have listened to all my crappiness on this rocky road....... and  Who i love dearly, and will do anything for. But just to add to this list of amazing people,  recently i have been part of a Surrogacy group. These are complete strangers that all share one thing in common. A dream of becoming parents.
In my life i have never met a selfless group of people. Each and everyone of them has a story that will bring you to tears, And each and everyone of them will go to the end of the earth to support you and find an answer to any question you have.

My Gratitude today come from these people. Especially to a certain person who made my heart dance
with the news they shared with me. It's the first time I've truly felt happiness in the last few weeks. And would you believe they still managed to fit in a whole lot of information i had been waiting for.

Just to add a little Surrogacy Gratitude to this blog...It seems Indian Government have found their heart and are allowing visas to "singles" male or female for surrogacy...
http://www.indianexpress.com/news/govt-set-to-allow-visas-to-singles-too-for-surrogacy/1121434

You see, their is always something to be grateful for, sometimes you just have to look a little harder.




8 comments:

  1. Always look for the blessings you find along the way, and reach out for support, it's the only thing that gets your through, and you meet the most amazing people on the journey. No-one knows what tomorrow holds, err on the side of positivity and joy.

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  2. Love this post. I found it incredibly difficult to find the positive in anything throughout my journey but it was through my 'blog land friends' that I actually found hope and learnt that miracles can happen. Hang in there and cherish your new-found friendships. X

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  3. Hi
    Not feeling it at the minute due to our negative result on sat, we have been 18 yrs trying and have been all over the world trying a combination of every treatment available and still nothing but negatives , i had such high hopes with SCI as well, just struggling right now,

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    2. Oh Rosie.... I'm so sorry, I unfortunately know that pain and not one word I'm about to write will take it away, but you are amazing to never have given up in 18 yrs, your stronger than you think and your courage is so powerful that, I know defeat is not in your vocabulary. I know this is a pain that will not go away, but what makes me feel somewhat better is sharing, as you never know what you will hear from someone who walking the same path as you. Rosie I'm now in the process of 24sure genetic testing, have you had this done before? I'm just throwing ideas, im sure in 18 yrs you have done everything!

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    3. Hi andy i had genetic testing done a few years ago but havent heard of 24sure testing, where is this available, ? Thanks for your kind words :)

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    4. Rosie 24Sure is a genetic screening of your embryos. They screen for all 24 chromosomes, this will determine wether the embryo is normal with all chromosome. So then your left with the best of the best for transfer. To be able to do the screening your embryo should be A grade. You should ask your fertility clinic in your home town if they do it. I'm getting mine done at my fertility clinic here in Australia. It's costly, but it's worth it.

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  4. Wow..your analogy is a good one, except..I would have become a nun after the 3rd or the 4th relationship! Lol glass half empty or half full, there is wine inside to drink! Just drink it, and try to pour a fuller glass next round! Sometimes, we just have to be brave and resilient to overcome our struggles.

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