Helllloooooo Delhi....and to new possible treatments

11pm 22/4/13, finally.....Delhi.
Now that 12 hour flight was easy. Singapore airlines just get it right. Food, service and comfort. Worth the extra few $$$$ (if you can) What was I thinking flying with Malaysia air last time!.... Oh yeah was thinking SAVE SAVE SAVE!!

I thought that being stopped and questioned at passport control was defiantly in the cards. I've read so many people have been questioned and asked for additional paperwork that you'd never think they would ask for. I had all the copies that SCI has sent me, just incase.
I WAS WRONG. We passed through in like 2mins. The guy at immigration even gave me a wink! Lol
So I'm never sure if we have to pass our bags through the X-ray machine, but I just always pretend I don't see it and just walk straight out. Security seem not to mind..
Thankfully our driver was waiting (somewhere where visible) and we in our car and on the road within 10mins.
Note to self--  must remember to have small notes & change to give tip to guys helping with luggage.
I always feel bad, but the dumb banks don't give you small notes!

It's 11pm and let me tell you that 30 degrees is just damn uncomfortable after a 12hr flight. Finally on the road to hotel and the first thing my mum sees is 20 bodies lying on the footpath in a row... Now I knew they were sleeping, but yes on first glance, they did look like dead bodies in a line.. She was defiantly shocked, even after I explained they were only sleeping. Somehow that was just as sad.

Now if you know me, you'd know that when it comes to hotels i do my best to get more than what they offer. So clearly i see our room, and always with a smile i request to be upgraded to a larger room. I say a few other things too. But in any case that's exactly what we got. The largest room the Hilton has, with an addition of  a sofa & sofa bed. Hehehe....
So basically the Hilton garden inn. NICE! I'm soooooo glad I choose this hotel. The mall is a wonderful western relief, and its cool, as it's 40 degrees during the day. But no sun. Seriously. No sun. It's been 3 days and no sun.... It's really overcast or I'm thinking, just major pollution! 

First meeting with Dr Shivani was again Bang.Bang! This woman is a Gem. Straight into it
And ready for injections to start the following day.
I'm now also discussing with her balstocyst culture and laser hatching.

Clearly I'm looking into everything that will increase our chances.
I'm a little excited about this, but waiting till I speak with Dr Shivani and really see what and how many folics we get.

Oh yeah... And I have appointment FRRO on Monday.
Next blog will include all information regarding FRRO and all paper work needed too.
Cause as it seem not even SCI knew a few addional thing FRRO are asking for.
I guess we must remember that this is all new for everyone. And as it seem day by day
Some things may change... So take a deep breathe and just go with it.
It's all a journey and in the end a good story to be told :)

Laser assisted hatching

Assisted hatching is a technology which helps embryos to attach to the womb of the woman. Pregnancy cannot occur unless the human embryo hatches.

The unfertilised egg is surrounded by a shell called zona pellucida. The zona pellucida ensures that only one sperm cell enters and thus fertilises the egg. After fertilisation of the egg, zona pellucida keeps the cells of the embryo together. Now the cell begins to cleave into a two-cell, then a four-cell and so on.

During the cleavage of the early foetus, zona pellucida hardens. This development is normal and the purpose is to keep the cells in the egg together. Removing the egg for in vitro fertilisation and micro insemination takes it out of its natural environment. This procedure tends to lead to egg shells that harden faster those of normally fertilised eggs.

Especially women older than 37 years of age, have a tendency to produce eggs with a harder zona pellucida than younger women. The same goes for women with a high level of follicle stimulating hormone (FSH). This can be diagnosed from a blood sample.

The problem of a harder zona pellucida is that the egg may not hatch and thus not attach to the woman’s womb. Hatching of the egg is necessary to become pregnant. We know that eggs from older women have problems hatching, explaining why some older women have problems becoming pregnant.

Laser assisted hatching is one out of several methods to help the fertilised egg hatch and attach to the womb. Other methods are acid or mechanical hatching of one a part of zona pellucida. At Nordica we offer laser assisted hatching, which is a gentle and safe way to weaken a part of zona pellucida. After treating the fertilised egg with laser assisted hatching, we transfer the embryo into the woman’s womb. In most cases the embryo will attach for normal growth and development.

Scientific experiments have shown that one method of assisted hatching is not superior to another. Nor are eggs damaged by assisted hatching.

Recent meta-research (comparison of different relevant researches) showed that women who have undergone repeated IVF treatments without results, double their chances of a pregnancy by use of assisted laser hatching.

At Nordica we offer laser assisted laser hatching for patients who have undergone repeated treatments without conceiving, and/or in cases where the woman is over 37 years of age. We also recommend that thawed embryos are treated with laser assisted hatching. It is our experience that thawed embryos have difficulty attaching to the womb.

The likelihood of improved chances for pregnancy is assessed medically before recommending laser assisted hatching.

Source: Journal of Assisted Reproduction & Genetics 2003 Aug.

Learn more about IVF- treatment (in vitro fertilisation)

Almost on the plane & FRRO fun facts ?

With a day to go, packing for 39 degrees days, in a country that you realllllly can't walk around in a tank top and shorts, is kind of interesting.
I've packed tees & jeans but I've learnt from last trip, wear a scarf around my neck cause tops may, just, be, that bit to low....and those looks that you get are kind of uncomfortable.
Not sure how everyone else feels while in India,  but I just tried not to stand out. Although as V put it. We are like a fly in a glass of milk.

My mum is super freaked out. Thanks to my uncle, who gave her a list of what not to eat, and a whole lot of  Do Not's. I think she thinks we should stay in our hotel room the whole time..Lol. 

I'm glad that on this trip we are staying at the Hilton Garden inn. The roof top pool is essential and  The mall attached will be a nice relief I think. 

Now that bags are almost packed I've stocked up gastrostop. Cause last time i was there i got Indian belly.... And.....Oh boy that was worse than Bali belly. Yes, same, but damn different! Lol


As it seem the inconsistencies in India continue to hassle. Let's for 1 min forget the stupidity
Of the Australian government and there New Passport regulations.
We now Also have to register at FRRO....., ( Foreigner Regional Registration Office) now I essentially thought we only had to register once we have a baby cause we we leave the country with one extra bundle.....
I just found out that registration is required when we arrive now.
And it gets better.....cause apparently FRRO is a NIGHTMARE.!
Can you just in vision the fun times ahead.!!

This is the latest email I received from a friend in Delhi at the moment....

'What you will need to register with FRRO.  Register within 14 days of arrival in India. You will need 4 passport photos, 3 copies of online registration form ( you will need to fill the online registration form print 3 copies & to book an appointment ) letter from SCI saying you are undertaking treatment with them & for how long, a letter from the hotel you are staying with to confirm you are staying with them & the length of your stay,  copies of your passport (biodata page), visa page & date of arrival in India stamp page. This is a requirement for all travelling on medical visas.'

FRRO website in New Delhi

http://www.immigrationindia.nic.in/frro_DelhiAdd2.htm

online registration

http://indianfrro.gov.in/frro/

As I was saying..........fun times ahead.....! 

Going through all the paper work tonight that SCI have sent us, our visas are all good. But I must say I'm nervous. There are so many inconsistencies in India at the moment, that i think being stopped at passport control is almost a given. I know that I'm Probably over thinking it, ( as I do most things) 

But, at this stage of the game it really seems that anything goes.!

Yeah. Fun. Times. 

Thanks Aust Gov...... NOT!!!

I Took today off from work to stay home and catch up on paperwork,
however I've made an executive decision, and this blog made it first on my list of things to do.....

With only a few days before I leave I've been thinking about all the steps we've climbed to get to where we are today.....And I've come to realise that I'm very blessed.
We may not have the child we so dearly want.....however we are fortunate enough to get the chance to keep trying.

So the lead up to leaving involves buying pineoclean disinfectant, bushman's insect repellent and a lot of Panadols... Cause Those car horns are gunna do my head in.!!! And just spoke to hotel manager. It's 38 degrees!! so I guess a little time will be spent by the pool :0) 

I've been doing a little research  as to why, I was told only recently that I can use only one surrogate. 

As it turns out there are a lot of grey areas, due to very unclear legislation & FRRO not sure as to what new legislation will be. SCI  will only use 1 surrogate to avoid legal complications when the time comes to exit with a baby. As disappointed as we are, it makes us feel a little more secure amongst all this uncertainty, and shows that Dr Shivani and SCI are doing their best to still make our dreams come true, with as a little pain as possible due to new changes..

Speaking of new changes this ones a BEAUTY!!! And has had the surrogacy IP (intended parents) page on fire today....Now this is my blog page, so I'm going to use the words I used when I first saw this. Hope I don't offended anyone, and if I do......sorry. In relation to the link bellow...

http://www.dfat.gov.au/passports/surrogacy/

SOME DUMB FK, D#%K HEADS IN OUR AUSTRALIAN GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENT OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS AND TRADE - Passport office has issued this....
From April 24th all IPs will need to have and submit a letter from the surrogate giving the surrogates permission for YOUR BIOLOGICAL CHILD to travel internationally and get a passport. It also allows her not to give that permission, and if she agrees then she would have to continue to sign until the child was 18!!!

Now there's a lot of what that F#%K are these people on!!!
Firstly the contracts states that the surrogate has relinquished all legal bindings to a child, (when its born) so how dose the Australian Gov come in and revers all contacts by giving the SURROGATE PARENTAL RIGHTS???  IDIOTS!
 Secondly, there are a lot of holes, like what if the surrogate can't be contacted, if she moves without a forwarding address, but mainly what sh%ts me is that there is a contract. The surrogate relinquishes all legal rights.
  Honestly, the leaps and bounds that we all must go though to have a child, to have our dream family is amazing.....i truly hope this isn't a crappy tactic because the government thinks its exploitation to women in third world countries. I personally want to slap anyone that tells me we as IPs are exploiting women in a third world country.

To anyone that has that opinion, travel with me to India and follow my path to my dream, where you will see the strength and passion of all these people who want simply a baby. You'll see that the Surrogate women who do this, do so with their heart. It provides their whole family support for years, and when you read what they really want, well..... its to send THEIR children to school for a chance at a better education. Not like some of our Aust Lazy Ass Parents, who fall pregnant  just to get the Baby Bonus that our Aust Gov gives out for just giving birth to a baby that they probably don't won't, and probably won't care for as much as these soulful and spiritual women do for Their children. 

Ok....I've had my rant....and I may have side tracked a bit. So back to the new obstacle presented to us. I'll be reading up on the situation and there are a lot of families O/S about to go through the hoop. 
Will update when I hear more. 

But as for me, I'll be leaving in the next few days. Thankful V is at the shop, cause going thought these next steps are already taking up the better part of my day, so not worrying about staff, orders, payments and in general all shop stuff is one thing I'm grateful for.

I'm the type of person who will give you my last bite of cadbury flake chocolate ( and i luv flake!) .....but right now, my brain isn't switched onto socialising, or really anyone other than this journey, and I am sorry for that.
 I'm tired. Exhausted. And emotional. And for the last year and a bit, I wake up with a hand full of strength that gets me thought the day, i have no strength to sugar coat anything anymore, not for anyone.  By the end of most days I'm left with just enough strength to smile and thank god for the new path we are on.

All IPs are doing is wanting to start a family. Its the simplest act that most people take for granted.
There are so many illegal acts being done to children, even here in Australia that NO ONE seems to care about or put enough effort into.
So instead of making this simple act such a challenge, how about Australian government
put more of a focus on How to improve Adoption and how to keep kids safe in foster care with potential adoption in sight with in our own country!!

New visas rules.....,and more!.

The emotional and somewhat complicated new Rules for Visas started for me, in December 2012.
I recall.....
I was getting ready for our trip to India for January, SAM, sends me a message saying have read the new laws in regard to surrogacy in India??? ...........ummmmNO!!!

Panic kicked in.
I was sent a link. That reads...
Australians travelling to India with purpose of paid surrogacy new laws have been put into place...
...... The feeling of about 100 bricks just landed on me...., and my heart was in my stomach.

As I read the article I remember thinking.....why the F^%K is this happening right now....when we've finally found a path to the family that we want so much, some dumb ass Minister and I don't know who else have decided to Slowly squash everyone's dreams.
(honestly........at this time, I was just thinking about myself)
From Memory it read that, the NEW requirements are -  a couple needs to be married for 2 years, & if your  Single or a gay couple, they would not be able to seek surrogacy, and it needs to be legal in your state or country....
Now after lots of emails, I was comforted by Dr Shivanis email stating that I didn't need worry, as I was an existing client SCI, and as for the "legal in state", well....that wasn't a problem either.... I was golden,..... so to say. :)

After all that had happened with our 2 surrogacy fails, in February, I was again in the mist of planning, my next trip when I read an email from SCI....
Now those of us on this journey know exactly what was written, however for those of my family and friends who don't know, in brief it read like this.

http://www.vfs-in-au.net/. This is the web page for Australia for medical visas.

SCI ANNOUNCEMENT : future work with non - married clients & those travelling on a Tourist visa.
"We are all very aware of the uncertainty that recent changes to visa requirement has caused our surrogacy community.
After the most recent communication with FRRO, SCI  believes it has no recourse other than to postpone treatment for non - married clients, rather than expose clients to legal action for violation of visa conditions.
We have included a copy of the letter we have sent all concerned SCI clients ( irrespective of your marital status, we cannot start a new treatment cycle : ie receive samples,sperm collection, IVF, egg collection with any client who travels on a tourist visa regardless of treatment being planned in 2012)"

 F%*K.....now, how is this going to affect me??? .... well the girls, Meg & Margarida were on top of it straight away.
Basically for me, I was married and I wasn't gay... so all I needed to do was get a Medical Visa instead of the Tourist visa, we travelled on last time.

However my thoughts were also with SAM, what would this mean for her, as she and her partner were not married, and a few days ago, we spoke about her possibly trying for their second baby.
I'm truly baffled as to how this criteria has come about?
If you are not married...would you not be a good parents? or if you are single, is there not enough love to give to a child? or if your gay, can you not show a child how to love freely and be unique.
It upsets me that others have had to stop. However if  the dream of a family is still a desire they will I'm sure find a way. I know I would.


SCI provided all the information with the paper work needed for the new requirements.
including the embassy paperwork, stating a citizenship given to our genetic child.
All I  needed to do was find our marriage certificate, and write a declaration that we will care for and provide for the child/children born under surrogacy, and get it signed by a Justice of the Peace.
Care for and provide for.......Yep I wrote that, and I used the word LOVE alot. Cause the  people make up these rules forget the little things.That no matter how a child is brought into this world the greatest asset you can give them is LOVE.

A blog I follow. Meg was in Melb for the yearly Surrogacy conference.
this is her up date,

http://amaniandbobsurrogacy.blogspot.com.au/

All Visas were finalised within 4-5 days. We now have them and the count down has started.

Up up and away very soon thank goodness, cause I hate just sitting around and not being active on our baby journey.

The only thing I'm still dis heartened about is not being able to use 2 surrogates, like we did last time
;(

Who to tell.

At this stage I'd like to add that only 10 people know that we were in India,
To pack up and leave for a month is kind of hard, as my husband and I own a cafe and come from
A Greek background, we are visited often by family & friends, as we are always at the shop.
So a little white lie was put into place, saying we were away looking at a new business.

In all honesty I never expected a negative result.
My plan was, tell a little white lie, but come back with awesome news, and everyone would just forgive our white lie......however, the negative result changed all my plans, and now the little lie that everyone keeps asking me about, has become a burden.

 V isn't coming with me on this trip, as Dr Shivani had him leave a sample of "his stuff". So my
Mum is coming with me. Trying to avoid people as much as I can until we work out what to say.
As this trip falls right on our Greek Easter, and my parents have cancelled their cruise, so my mum can be with me. So now the burden of them having to lie is killing me too.

Everyone knows everyone in the Greek community of my home town. Ive been trying so hard to control who knows and who not to tell. It's drained me. 
I even contemplated putting a few pis of India up on fb and just title it "our Indian surrogacy journey" I'm not the type to share on fb personal stuff, but I'd you'd like to know know more the pls PM me and I'll send you the link to my blog..... I didn't do that. 
Instead I've gone about it the old fashion way. 
I started with one family member (cousin ) from each of my families, explained to them from the beginning and asked them to explain it to their parents ( aunties & uncles ) cause I love that my parents are supportive, however explaining this stuff... Some things get lost in translation.
It is  important to explain the journey from the beginning, cause its natural that everyone first comment is...." I know someone who couldnt fall pregnant and did this........"
Trust me. I've been there, and heard it. And, done it.!

The simple analogy was... " it's just like baking a cake. We put the ingredients together at your house, but your oven doesn't work...., so we use the neighbours oven to cook the cake, and in nine months will come an pick it up!!"  Food!! It works every time. LOL

So now our family all know. We decided whoever we saw and if the situation presented itself, no need to lie, tell them. The more you try to keep a secret. The more stories get made up.

We are not embarrassed about this, nor do we care what people think morally. 

But. What if it's a negative. Again. 

Egg collection, Results and.......everything next.

Day of the transfer was here. 4.30pm and no food or water from 8.00am. So I didn't
Feel alone in this V choose to not eat anything either, lol...

Egg collection  takes about 15mins , under anaesthetic. The preparation before going under was really good, and really comfortable. An hour or so later,  While I was trying to wake up, Dr Shivani
Came into my room,  she had a nice smile and said something like were able to collect 10 eggs
That's a good number..then I passed out again. Needless to say the drive back to the hotel later was horrid. Stop start. 22million Horns beeping. And just a long drive back. .me and the bathroom sink had a date! Lol but....... On the up side..... Step one. Success!!

I was still very groggy, the following day and slept most of it away, Other than stalking Neha, 
at SCI, to find out how many fertilised.
Finally late in the evening, we got the email.... 8. 8 fertilised. Step two. Success!
8 embryos. 2 surrogates. 4 in each. Odds were good. Happiness. A strange feeling of it was creeping in. I hadn't felt "good" or positive in a long time, but odds were on our side :))

Now the 14 day wait....

Because I normally react badly after my egg collection with hyper stimulation, and couldn't think
of anything worse than travelling with a hyperstim, we decided to stay 10 days extra.

In those 10 days, the first of the 4 were spent in hotel. Bad hyperstim... But not as bad as I had experienced before.
We took a road trip to Jaipur , Pink city! which was beautiful, but not really pink,lol. Picked up a gorgeous emerald as my birthday present, ( i didn't know that India was home to precious stones, and Jaipur is where most of them come from)
The drive back was meant to be a 6 hr drive that turned into 11hrs. Really bad roads really bad traffic, as trucks just decided to pull over onto 2 of the 4 lanes and park for the night.
I slept, but credit to the driver cause we may have had to spend the night on the road if he didn't
Drive on the opposite side of the freeway!!! When I woke up all I saw was on coming traffic coming straight for us and all the driver was saying was.... Shit, shit, shit!!!! Lol
But he got us back in one piece.
 A day later, we decided that we should spend my Birthday at Agra, where the Taj Mahal is.
I'm not sure if beautiful is enough of a word to describe this temple. The marble carvings, and coloured stones are truly stunning!
While we walked around the temple I noticed the jagged black & white columns and the mustard yellow.... Touches. It reminded me House of Harlow jewelry!( girls might only get that comment... ;)
I have a major obsession with fashion..... Sorry! Lol.
There was a festival, and I wanted to walk though and shop at the little stalls, our tour guide wasn't happy, cause.... I did all my tourist shopping cheap and in a market and not at the over priced tourist store he want to take us.. Oops!

2 days left and I was feeling like myself. So far no new is good news. All I kept thinking is
Last time I was pregnant I only had one embryo transferred. This is 8! And in healthy women!

We asked Neah if she new of any orphanages. She sent us the name and contact details to
Dr Sohan Veer. He runs a private orphanage ( the name escapes me now, but will find my paperwork and include it in one of my following blogs)
I spoke with Dr Sohan, and asked if  we could arrange a visit for the following day. There are 40children all aged between 5-18yrs, mixture of boys and girls. We wanted to take them something, and asked him what it was they needed...... So that's what we did. 40 school bag, books, pens, pencils, paints,..., we loaded up the car and to our surprise found a beautifully kept orphanage with green grass, clean rooms, and most of all beautiful happy and talented children. I say talented cause this orphanage not only keeps them in school, but teaches them meditation, yoga, massage, and sewing, so that when they are of age to leave, they have a skill. Very important, especially for the girls.
They put on a little dance, and showed us some yoga techniques.
These kids were lucky in there misfortune.

Feb 25th. We leave Delhi, still no news, said goodbye. And prayed we'd be back in 9 months.

Feb 28th. Waiting for email.... Delhi is 5hrs behind Adelaide, so chances are a late night email would came, as it did.
Heart in stomach. Hands shaking, body numb, as I read the words...... Unfortunately neither of  your surrogates have a positive pregnancy..... World crashing. Pain escalating.
No need to bore you with the drama that followed, but if you have been there then you know.
Lots of  F#%KS later.... I'm on a phone and talking with Dr Shivani.
It's just one of those things. No scientific answer other than. It happens.
She advised me that I needed to take 3 months break if I'd like to try again.

So that's where we are at now...
I'm in the process of planing my next trip, just sent of visa application
Which I will tell you all about in my next post.

Thank you for allowing me to share this journey. It's a battle, but I don't give up very
Easily. Ever. Cause this, the family that we want is the only thing that matters.