Friday 15 March 2013

Adoption. Plan L,M,N (almost half way through the alphabet)




A few weeks after my miscarriage finding out my baby was healthy almost sent me into an abyss. [ i asked to have it sent away for assessment. To find the cause of the miscarriage]

The doctor was speaking to me, She kept talking about a chip and a new test, or something like that, but all that kept going through my mind was, the last course of drugs I took to prevent this form happening was the harshest I'd ever taken.
Can I do this again???

Not sure about the next few days... I just couldn't seem to get my head around it, and still coming off the prescribed drugs sent my world into chaos.
I remember my councillor saying to me. She was amazed that I'm still standing.
Only Thanks to my Amazing husband and the wonderful support group of friends & family.


After my miscarriage it seemed as though everywhere I looked someone was pregnant or just had a baby. Baby's where infornt  of me and I didn't have mine.
I needed to find a path that lead me to my dream. So after an emotional battle my focus now became baby & not pregnancy. Everyone & everything took a back seat. Nothing was more important than this.

It's amazing the amount of times the word "unfair" pops up. Especially when you hear people say "we didn't want a 3rd or 4th baby" or "the timing isn't right for us, for this baby". I only have these words for people who say things like that, USE PROTECTION! FFS!! Take the pill & use a condom. Cause when you given a gift, don't take it for granted.

I knew my body needed recovery time, so one night I spoke with my husband, V and we both agreed.
Adoption. We don't care what Colour skin the baby had or from where the baby came from. We both knew we just wanted a baby. We have so much love to give that this was the best option rather than another cycle of ivf.

Knowing the little I knew about the process, that it can take up to 5 yrs. I really thought that, would be in the top 10 of difficulties. Boy, was I wrong. That 5 yrs wait was the least of the issues.
 We went to the first available seminar which happened to be in the same week we inquired.
4hrs of information, that was not comforting at all.

Basically the amount of counties Australia has dealings  with  have declined over the last few years, and we are left with in my opinion, very few. This was later explained, and is partly due to child trafficking. Then each of those countries have a certain criteria we need to meet.
For example China.One point said, if you have "A" Traffic Offence you are no longer suitable to apply for adoption in their country. [ criteria for Australian citizen] I thought they meant in the year you choose to apply, but no. They mean Ever!! I had 5 traffic offences already, and it was only May!
Other countries had an age cut off & others asked for home visits and assessments for a few years.
But the worst part of it all was the no guarantee's. You can be on the list for years and not be selected.  If you are on the adoption path then you are not allowed to seek elsewhere. This and lots of other things didn't sit well with us.

We still didn't want to waste time, so while still thinking about adoption, I looked into adopting from Greece. This seemed like a good idea but the red tape there was almost as bad
As bad as Australia. With the additional obstacle, the Australian government not allowing you to enter with your child until you have both lived Overseas for 12 months.
Everything was just hard. So many children who need a home, who need someone to love them, who need a family and all that we kept coming across was more paper work & more obstacles more red tape.


At the seminar we attended, i ask how many adoption happen with Australia a year. Now i cant remember if she said in reference to South Australia or Australia, but her answer was, one! ONE!!!

This post is a few years old, but in my opinion, with the slight information given to us at the time not much has changed.

http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/36942.html

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